Performance was my measure of value, so excellence is what I pursued; but performance never provided the validation I longed for.

Then I became a parent.  What I once held on to, I learned to let go of.  What I once valued highly, I found to be deficient.  I had always been a perfectionist, but parenthood taught me that perfection is unattainable, and frankly, boring.  My kids show me how much presence, curiosity, and courage are enough.

What abilities did I have that might help me stand out? Beneath all my efforts was a deep longing to simply be seen.  And beneath the longing to be seen was an even deeper desire to see myself.  To find that I believed myself to be beautiful, valuable, and worthy of love.

6

14

4

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So I began to embrace my own chaos; the messiness of my own growth.  I know this to be true: Relationships are hard. Family is HARD. But it’s also what’s so insanely beautiful about being human. We can carefully curate our lives for others to see, but what we really long for is to be seen for who we truly are and loved for that person.  Being seen depended on the measure of vulnerability I was willing to invite others into- to share my story without redaction or revision.  

After all, I love a good story. I found my own to be good; worthy even.  And yours is good, too. I wholeheartedly believe this. 

“Giving someone the chance to be seen at their most vulnerable is much more healing than any words. And it (is) my honor to do that.” -Mikki Brammer

Engaging my own story grows the empathy I bring to yours.

to feel known and alive.

I spent the majority of my life searching for significance through my performance. How could I impress people?